sometime

sometime ...

what are you want is not what are you got at the end ...

mankind is very tender ...

we can't accept the true facts ...

so we keep on lying to others even our own self ...

sometime it may good for us, and it may bring the worse to us sometime ...

please, step forward to accept it ...

while u move out to the next step, at the same time u already successful ...

if you never step it out & try, you will never know do it work or not ...

please, step out to look for your answer ..

because the answer never walk out to your side & show you,

if you never search for it by yourself ...

negative view point of mine ~

1st for all ...

i being emo recently..

i feel like wanna run away for all ...

i don't know what am i doing now ...

being tired for it ...

unhappy feel come all the way ...

feel like i'm such a loser ...

this is all that not what i want ~

i can't be positive ...

i can't make it change ...

no matter how hard i try it ...

i fail to work it out ...

i don't talk ... keep complain on it ..

unhappy ... negative ...

emo .. going to be not okay ...

is it this is what i want ?!

i don't know ...

i always question to myself ...

i wanna run , i want quit ...

but next minutes i try ask myself ..

are you going to give it up ...

why not you try to challenge it ..

i'm not happy at all ..

even on the way to work, i will keep on thinking ...

can i get back? i wanna back ...

i don't want to work ...

can i escape it ...

what for i work like this ...

make myself being so suffer ...

why others always think that is not a big deal ?

why they don't want to try hard to make it become better ?

why they don't want to solve the problem till the problem rolled till it become serious?

why they can step on the same place till 10yrs ++..

and not even try to step it out to become better ?

that were a lot of question from my heart ...

is it i'm the one who think of it ?

is it i'm the one who greedy ?

greedy to become more and more better in my future...

时间

需要"时间"将我带离...

就让时间来治疗...

因为到了结局...

我从来都没有赢过...

清楚了, 是时候要放手了....

... 不知道 ...

我 ... 不知道 ...

不知道, 该如何做出抉择 ...

矛盾在我的心里徘徊 ...

我对你的喜欢, 渐渐加深 ...

从一开始, 只想和你聊聊天说说话 ...

到 ... 喜欢上你的回嘴, 和 说"屁啦你" ...

到 ... 喜欢上看你的嘴角慢慢的上扬 ...

那, 浅浅的微笑逗留在你面上 ...

喜欢上逗你 ...

把你从沉默寡言, 逗到快被我气死 ...

那好气又好笑的表情, 已变成我的最爱 ...

总是喜欢逗着你, 吵着你 ...

但, 最后还是失望收场 ...

我 ... 懂, 你的身边有个还不赖的她 ...

一个我永远都比不上的她 ...

所以我都不敢开口询问你对于我的感觉 ...

你和她的事, 我都不想知道 ...

那是因为怕自己胜不了她 ...

心 ... 不想做出让你为难又伤害她的事 ...

但, 也许我并没有这个能耐 ...

心 ... 却也不想放弃你 ...

但, 喜欢上你 ... 这都是我单方面的 ...

也许你不知道吧 ...

我爱上拥抱着你 ... 静静不语的 ...

抱着你, 我的心平静很多 ... 你就成为我唯一的依靠 ...

依靠着你, 让我就算很累 ... 也让我觉得快乐 ...

渐渐的, 我常想起你 ...

想知道你的一切 ...

想和你对话 ...

想和你见面 ...

想和你分享我的快乐, 你的心事与烦恼 ...

我不知道该放弃你吗 ...

该让你和她过着你想过的日子吗 ...

该祝福你和她吗?

但,为什么一提起她 ...

你就变的不快乐?

你不愿和我说, 我也不想知道 ...

你常和我说你希望和她一起走到终点 ...

但, 每当我问起你和她有结婚念头了吗 ...

你却犹豫了 ...

试问, 那样的你 ...

我该让你去过你想和她过的日子吗?

没有后悔的决定...

今天去了cyberjaya ...

见了很久没有联络的朋友...

谢谢你, 因为'你"... 我认识了她....

聊着聊着, 就聊到了'你' ....

没有后悔离开了你....

因为离开, 我才找回开心的自己....

谢谢'你' 陪我一起走过的日子...

当中我也学习了很多事....

无论是开心或伤心,

我都会珍惜,

珍惜着这珍贵的回忆...

因为这是伴我一起走过四年半的岁月....

很想很想...

很想拥抱你...

但, 你选择推开我....

那我只能祝福你和她幸福 ...

请不要怀疑我对你的喜欢...

我只想简简单单的伴在你身旁...

但, 那只是我的想法...

失望 ...

对于"家" ...

我总觉得失望 ...

我要得,我渴望的...

都不能一一实现....

我只想有个温暖的家...

懂我的家人...

适时的温暖, 小小的欢乐,

暖暖的拥抱,点点的爱护.....

爸妈, 我只想有个温馨的家...

但, "它" 离我很遥远~

tired... but full of meaning ~

i was busy with my job ...

i was tired after my work ...

i was enjoy during my job ...

i was learned a lot of my work ...

i was like the place of my job ...

心... 再一次碎了...

曾经以为, 我不会舍不得...

曾经以为, 我不会很难过...

曾经以为, 我能放开你的...

曾经以为, 我不会再流泪...

但, 这些曾经以为 ...

在我看了你的博客...

才知道那是我以为...

其实, 我还是很在意...

其实, 我还是有感觉...

毕竟我曾经深爱过...

...

suddenly feel like want to climb broga hill ~

missed the felt that i climbed last time ~

i wish to capture more n more pictures again ....

because those pictures were give me a difference

views n mean every time i see it ~

here, i share some of it ~

y'day's blog ... 12.06.2011

Woke up in the morning, was blur to taking a shower ...

be'coz i was had dated with my best frens to hang out celebrated ann's chinese b'day day ...

So just made a call to my frens to awoke them ...

This is the 1st time i awoke them up..

Cause i'm the most who like to bed n get up late among them.

While we plan to out on 11am ...

Yet we got up late, thus, we reached by 1pm to had our brunch...

Zen Japanese Restaurant which located at Sunway Pyramid

this was my 1st time to had a japanese buffet with frens ... i had ate a lot of salmon ... also can said that my stomach full of salmon n it was swim in my stomach ^^,

Got my little sweet home was 3pm ... promised to hang out with kai xian by 7pm ...

We went to had a dinner and a movie call dlyan dog...

He was another good fren for me, we knew each other by me 16.

We chat a lot, but full of his gf things... he having a bad status with his gf ...

And i was not clear of it ... wish him can be as happy as he can ...

Don’t just stay at emo mood ...

Oh ya, i should say thank you to him...
be'coz of him i got back my mood...
he make me keep to move on with his words ...

i can't always to stay at the same status ...

i trying my best to move to well status ...

yeah !!! finally got my certificate ~ ^^,

erm... this time really graduated ~ ^^,

is time for me to look for an officer job ~

coz being request by family that i should become officer.

actually i think that officer job r quite boring for me ...

but no choice, coz still hv to do it ~

blek ....

wish that my follow journey will become more n more interested ~ ^^,

528...

我还是做了不该做的东西~
但, 我的心很踏实...
我把不属于我的东西, 给还回了...

对与你,我想就像- JJ 林俊杰的歌吧...

林俊杰 - 我还想她

泪水 将我淹没 到底谁该难过
究竟 是谁放掉 这段感情
我才终于明白 办不到的承诺 就成了枷锁
现实中 幸福永远缺货

请告诉她 我不爱她 笑着难过 自我惩罚
想终止这一切挣扎 横了心说真心谎花
别告诉她 我还想她 恨总比爱容易放下
当泪水堵住了胸口 就让沉默 代替所有回答

我才终于明白 办不到的承诺 就成了枷锁
现实中 幸福永远缺货

请告诉她 我不爱她 笑着难过 自我惩罚
想终止这一切挣扎 横了心说真心谎花
别告诉她 我还想她 恨总比爱容易放下
当泪水堵住了胸口 就让沉默 代替所有回答

我不爱 我不痛 我不懂
我的心早已掏空 真心话 言不由衷

请告诉她 我不爱她 笑着难过 自我惩罚
想终止这一切挣扎 横了心说真心谎花
别告诉她 我还想她 恨总比爱容易放下
当泪水堵住了胸口 就让沉默 代替所有回答

别告诉她 我还想她
就让沉默 代替所有回答

原来我不曾放开过

我不曾放开"你" ...
我只是很努力,很用力的去把"你"漠视 ...

曾经,我以为我不去想,不去理会"你"...
我会很好过, 我会把你慢慢遗忘 ...

但, "你"已种在我心上 ...
再也拔不掉 ...

慢慢的,我不再提起"你" ...

提起"你"只会让我很悲伤 ...

因为"你", 我学着"坚强" ...

表面上"坚强"的我, 渐渐忘了...

真实的我是很"脆弱" 的 ...

我忘了, 这六年的我是怎样过的 ...
我"脆弱" 的, 否定"你" 的存在 ...
自以为是的过的很好, 但从此以后再也没有人能走进我的"心"...

a part of my past ~ about him ~

haha~ i miss the time we past together ~ in year 2007 ~

yup is u * hanazawa rui* hahah ~

suddenly think about u ~ ^^,

miss the moment we spent together ~

i was read back the comments u sent to me last time ~

it's sweet enough ~ ^^,

although it is an empty promise between us ~

but i really did to treasure it last time ~

i miss the moment be4 u went to london studies ~

that time i really thought u r my one till the end ~ ^^,

u hv taught me a lot ~

thanks for giving me those sweet memories ~ ^^.

but so sad is we didn't have a change to capture picture be4 ~

thank you my friends ~

my heart always full of u all ~

thank you my friends for never give me up ~

always give me a hand while i need u all ~

i do my best to promise u all ~

i'll always smiling there whenever u all was here for me ~

i like u all ~ be'coz of u all, it let me feel that i was not alone ~

now it's the time to let me awake ~

i can't be continues like this ~

n i tired to be like this ~

maybe i was lost now ~

but i know, TIME will bring me to the right way ~

yup, i'm tender at the moment ~

i need someone stand at my side give me a big warn hug ~

telling me that i'm not alone ~

to give me energy to keep walking ~

if someone do ~

but in my side i wish that i can be alone right now ~

to cure my own wound ~

till the day, the moment ~

i can smile like last time ~

n telling u guys, yen is be back !

ten days past ~

here was 10 days ago ...

i cant keep myself a promised to don't miss u or even think about you,

while my mind was free ...

i knew that i'm such a loser in this field ....

no matter how hard i did it ...

i still do to miss u in every moment every single minute...

i can't stop it ...

i still think a lot of you ... all my mind were you...

today was 24th of march ...

24 is the date that was meaning full for me ...

i guess u sure forget it ...

now i just want a message from you that telling me,

you are not longer my chao chao ...

i will set you free ...

become like old time ...

a best friend of mine ...

hang out chit chat, telling each other, and sharing...

just like an old friend...

not more than that ...

i'm waiting ...

waiting the message ...

waiting the heart dead moment...

and it come alive again ...

RealizeD ..

The End ...

finally reached to this ...

there is hopeless for me ...

and i was always there to knew that..

just i, myself dun wan admit it ~

till the moment, i forced myself to accept it...

accept the fact that it was happened...

no matter what, the answer wasn't change...

now i RealizeD it's true happening now ...

pain, wound already there to remind and provided ...

when it cured, it become past.

i waiting the time to let it become past ~

*smiling*

yet, in my smile still hiding a pain there ~

just no one notice it ~

so i let it keep on silence...

courage ...

i lost it ~ *courage*

and i don't know start from when, it gone form my heart ~

i seem like wasting my time to do nothing here ...

yeap, is true ~

i was graduated, but i haven't find a job yet ~

i feel like i had lose all the courage n confident to find a job...

even do a little things ~

i try harder to find it back to my life ...

i really did it ~

but, it haven't appear ...

i know, i can't do anything without it ~

i can't do the best ~

i hope soon, i can find it ...

pls be back to my life ....

time couldn't turn back ~

no matter how is the little things u make it~

once u did wrong to hurt a person u love the most or love u the most ~

the wound was always there ~

no matter how hard u try to cure it

time couldn't turn back to before ~

cause we can't cure it....

so before we make the wound ...

we have to treasure everything we have it ~

do u get me ?

i hope u get it ~

great show with my lovely family

finally i had a great show time with my lovely family ~

1stly have to thanks my bro to treat us for movie ~

* all's well end's well *

this is the 1st time i have a movie show with my family ~

i really like the feel ~

thanks dad n mom, to accompany me n bro watched it ...

i wish to have next time ...

coz the chance for us to have a show together is vy HARD ...

due to my parents different generation with us .

my friend said that this movie is quit bored ...

maybe is my first time had a show with family,

so that i think this movie really nice for me ...

haha ...

end this blog here ~

have a great day ya ~

am i nobody to u ?

sigh ~

this few days i had think a lot ~

who am i for u ?

i think is nobody ~

unhappy in this few days...

but i can't show to my family ~

since now is during chinese new year ~

and everyday i should bring a smile in my face ~

so i did to it ~

i will try to stop calling u or even send message to u ~

if u care me u will do to call me or sms me ~

my mood was down down down again ~ sigh ....

hey hey, my beloved where r u wow ?????????

12.59am u still hvn't reply my msg....

do u know i will worry u ???!!!

haizzzzzzzzzzz .....

am i the one who put the deep love inside compare with u ?

darling ahhh, can u reply me as fast as u can ?

or i rather to go slp now ...

wat oso no need think ~

night night the world ~

wish u all hv a great night ~~~~~

recently i'm moody ...

i having family n working problems...

it was the reason y i was so moody...

my family had fight almost everyday in this week.

thus, my mood was so down ...

it let me seem like no mood to do everything,

even though i didn't have a proper chat with my friends...

i'm so sorry to my friends...

actual, i just don't want to bother any friends of mine due to this...

so, i had try my best to bear it...

now my family problem was settle down...

frank say, i quite hate my job now ...

coz, i never think that i have to face with the idiot section leader n work with him...

him keep on complain to me while i was work ~

n my salary was not paid by him ...

i just come here to work for my company not for HIM...

if him really think that he is clever than me, ok fine, him may do my position ...

i can quite my job anytime...

coz, he threaten me while i work ...

wat the mean by, if u wanna talk u can talk late, if not u may not come to work on tmr ?

n i was not talk with any worker there... i was talk with the customers...

alright, this week if he still do the same thing to me ...

i'll tell him, to complain to my company directly n exchange other worker with me ...

n i will quite it ~ since i was unhappy to work with him ~

mcd breakfast day ~ ^^,

having a great breakfast day with 2 of my best frens n my fren's gf this morning ~

haha ... for me this morning is a good weather to sleep ~

yet, i have decided to out with my best frens ~ ^^,

coz i really miss the moment at mcd last time ~

time, pass so fast ...

a year ago, both of us have the same breakfast with the same place...

and now, both of us have make a big changed ~

we were sharing our own story while we chatting ~

i'm enjoy the moment hang out with frens n chit chatting ~

coz, we can know each other more by go through this..

thanks ya my frens ~ i always enjoy to hang out with u all no matter u r sharing a funny, happy or sad story ~ ^^,

gal gal was always there to be a good audience ~

as normal as well

me and you already become normal friend...
there was nothing for me and you...
y'day he sent a present to my house to give me an early b'day present.
and me just feel like normal friends took a present to me...
although we chit chat a while yet, the topic all is around his family...
me and you already have no topic to chit chat like last time...
and thanks my friend to took me out to have a supper with him ...
haha... we just a normal friend ...
we have chat a lot of things ... miss the chit chat time that which pass to fast to us..
my friend quite funny, coz my friend never thought that he will appear in my house,
while my friend came to fetch me out, and he was there to waiting for me to open the gate ...
my friend was so Q to ask me, do you want to call him come along with us?!
i was (=.=ll) swt... why do we call him come along too ? hahaha ....

still have a day and that is my birthday ...
all the celebration days for me really become as normal day...
my birthday as well..
haven't reach my birthday, but i really done to received an early present n birthday wish from my friends.. haha

really thanks a lot for my friends ya...
you all really kind for me ... i love u all ~ ^^

a brand new year for everyone ~

01.01.2011 ...

3.56am...

and i was still here to writing my blog...

2010, it really bring a lots for me...

and now i learning everything from every way.

a same view point, but it bring a lot of conclusion for me ...

do it proof that i'm changing ?

anyway, i'm here to wish everyone have a brand new year with a brand new wish n target..

ps. i love u all, my dearest family, my dearest friends n you ~

*u, means all of u ... even u r the pass by person...

thank you ... ^,^